His Price
by Skydark
Summary: How far will he go for the right price? Hei/Ed.


Logic dictates that when times are tight, sacrifices are made and money is saved. He fingered the few coins in his pocket, spare change that caught him off guard. It had been saved only for the fact he hadn't worn these particular trousers for a few days and had forgotten the change was there.

But still, he should save it.

He shouldn't be standing in this sweet shop trying to guess Edward's favorite flavor.

Well it should be chocolate, naturally, because who could resist chocolate?

Why Edward could of course, because it wouldn't taste like the chocolate from his own world. It wouldn't be as sweet, as rich, as deep a milk brown color.

What did he care for the tastes of a lunatic with perfect lips? Enough with the lips! Here he was in the prime of his youth struggling to build a meaningful career, leave his very mark on the aviation of his country and why, oh why, did he focus on the pout of a deranged foreigner who it seemed had hit his head one to many times and thought he was from another world, beyond a gate, where everything was better?

Clearly it made no sense, so why was he fingering this bar of chocolate?

Was Edward even susceptible to bribes? Was he even capable of making the bribe? His inner eye turned to that pouty bottom lip and how it would taste when trapped between his own and he hung his head back and half groaned.

"That is good chocolate," said another shop browser, "I've moaned over it myself."

Alfons jumped a little, pressed the end of the chocolate bar to his chin and turned away. Alright, he'd just been caught fantasizing about his roommate eating chocolate and letting Alfons lick his lips. By the laws of contamination he now had to buy the chocolate bar lest his unnatural fantasies besmirch the next patron into the shop who happened to touch this particular bar of chocolate.

"You are a sad, sad man, Alfons Heiderich," he mumbled to himself as he approached the register. The shop girl looked a bit apprehensive and quickly took his change and pushed the bar back across the counter toward him.

Should he apologize for traumatizing her by making inappropriate, not overtly sexual sounds over a bar of chocolate in her shop? No better to just leave it and let her own conclusions take her where she wanted to go. After all, if she considered him some sexual deviant, then who was he to disappoint her? He hurried out of the shop, slipping the chocolate bar into this coat pocket.

Edward always looked like a rabbit startled out of it's hole. When he walked in, Edward looked up sharply, his face holding some trace of guilt and he closed a notebook he had lying open on the table. It wasn't as if Alfons didn't know about all of Edward's crack-pot, gate-hopping, space-warping theories, so why Edward tried to hide them from him, he couldn't guess.

"How was your day?" Alfons asked, shrugging off his jacket and going to put it on the hook. Edward grunted his response and pulled the text he still had open closer to him.

"That good, eh?"Alfons said, fishing the chocolate bar from his jacket pocket and keeping it close.

"It was a day," Ed said, waving his hand, "pretty much like every other day. I got up, I ate, I went to class, I came home, I'm studying. Not a lot of variety lately, maybe we should go to the beer hall," Ed kept his head bent over his book.

"Oh I don't know," Alfons said, fingering his...his what? His bribe, go ahead and admit that's what it was, he was going to bribe Edward with chocolate, and failing that? Well, he wasn't the most physical person around, he wasn't sure what would come if good old fashioned bribery were to fail him.

Edward had his sweets radar on, his head snapped up and he looked sharply in Alfons direction. "What's that you have there," he said, flipping the text closed now so Alfons could have his full attention.

"This?" Alfons held the chocolate bar up, he pressed it against his upper lip, just under his nose and held it there with his fingertips. After a moment, he used said fingertips to slide the chocolate bar back and forth beneath his nose and inhaled deeply. "It's a chocolate bar," he let out on a sigh.

"Where did you get it?" came the low rumble from Edward's vicinity.

Alfons glanced over at him and became ensnared. It was at times like these that Edward's unusual eye color came into play. Alfons felt himself quite pinned by the stare of a large, tawny predator from which nothing could save him. The way Edward pushed himself back in his chair and then rose to his feet was absolutely feline. His blond mane, with crest attached only added to the aura of a rogue of the African savanna and the way he was licking his lips made Alfons simultaneously hot and clammy. He was quite certain, where they to be participants in the animal kingdom he would be, without doubt, eaten alive.

The fact that he might enjoy it brought another level of internal inquiry into his sanity.

"Oh, at a shop, why, did you want a bite?" Alfons said, hoping he sounded causal, but thinking, instead, he sounded like a cornered meal, waiting to be pounced. However, even small defenseless things facing extreme peril were known to show bravery. And this case, defenseless might apply, but small did not. He threw his hand in the air, effectively putting the chocolate bar out of Edward reach and braced himself to be body slammed.

Edward stopped in his tracks. His eyes did the slow trail from Alfons face, up his arm, to the chocolate bar being held aloft. His left eyebrow rose, then dropped and his right eyebrow decided to be a copycat. His eyes left the airborne confection and dropped back to Alfons face. The side of his mouth curled up slightly and Alfons fully expected to see fangs.

"Are you going to share that?" he asked, folding his arms in front of his chest in an effort to look less threatening, at least that is how Alfons took the gesture, "or are you going to hog it all to yourself? If your answer is hogging it all to yourself then the next time I have pocket money and you don't you'll go without beer when we go down to the beer hall."

"If I remember correctly you make me pay dearly for every cheap mug of beer you grudgingly shell out for when we do," Alfons drolled. "Maybe I should expect some form of payment for a bite of my decidedly high quality chocolate. Maybe I should have you take all the notes while I sleep behind my upturned text book, or maybe I should have you make nice to the girls at the market so they slip you an extra sausage," but then again, he really didn't want that, after all the girls at the market looked at Edward enough as it was, Alfons wasn't sure he wanted to encourage the idea Edward was available.

But Edward was available, a very available young man, going to a good school, possibly having a bright future in chemistry. So available it put Alfons teeth on edge, he could just see investing all this time and effort only to have Edward trot after the first bimbo to flash him some skin and leave him stranded here, in rocketry, alone.

The only silver lining to that dreary cloud covered thought was the fact that Edward, to this very present date, had not once, in Alfon's presence at least, show the slightest interest in the opposite sex. So it should stand to good reason, that if he wasn't interested in women, well perhaps he was interested in something, and Alfons rather hoped with the right persuasion it might be himself.

Edward worked his jaw back and forth, as if somehow he was evaluating this with his inevitable equivalent exchange theory. Finally he sighed, put his hands on his hips and gave a slight nod. Alfons had learned over time that Edward only nodded to himself, so he must have come to some understanding with himself that would lead to bargain to be struck.

"Alright then," Edward said, "name your price."

Here it was, the set-up, the long awaited chance. The whole reasoning behind spending money on something without justifying the purchase to death. Now or never, do or die, out with it, tell him, pucker up, do something!

"What are you doing with your mouth?" Edward asked, eyebrows trading off shrugs again.

"I want you," Alfons said, arm lowering slowly, "I want...I want you..."

Ed's eyes darted to the lowering bar of chocolate, he leaned forward just a bit.

"Alright, out with it, what do you want?" Ed demanded.

"Kiss!" Alfons blurted, then drew the bar of chocolate to his chest to protect it, because Edward was going to laugh, snatch it out of Alfons hand and probably hit him while he was at it.

Ed had raised his hand, but it halted in mid-air and he was currently studying Alfons with an intensity that he normally reserved for equations or chemical compounds. It was as if his cat-like yellow eyes were trying to bore through the epidermis of Alfons cranium, drill through his skull and nose around in the gelatinous gray mass that served as a brain. It was like he was in Alfons head, reading Alfons every though as if somehow Alfons brain had gotten a journal and pen in there and was jotting everything down. How embarrassing to have Ed in his brain seeing all these thoughts about Ed and kissing and his ass and such. He knew closing his eyes wouldn't break this connection, so he continued to stare at Ed, chocolate bar pressed over his heart, where it would surely crumble for the escalation of Alfons heart beats.

"Oy, did you just say you wanted me to kiss you for chocolate?" Ed said, doing that amazing eyebrow lift again. Ed worked out every other part of his body, why not his eyebrows?

"Maybe," Alfons ventured, "I suppose it depends on your preconceived violence at the suggestion," he fingered the chocolate bar nervously. "Your input would be most helpful, " he assured.

Ed continued to stare at him, his eyes darted from Alfons face to the chocolate bar a few times and after a pause of several moments he began to inch his way over. Alfons felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up in excitement, either from getting a kiss or getting a pummeling he wasn't sure. But he stood his ground, because sometimes he was stupid like that, and if he were to run he was sure Ed could catch him. Besides, running would invite Ed to chase, and Ed would get all excited from the chase and pummel him especially hard, because that was the predator's modus operandi.

But instead Ed did the most amazing thing, so amazing and astonishing Alfons wasn't sure what he should do, even though he was the one who had done the setting of terms. Ed got almost touching distance, then he leaned forward a bit, puckered his lips and closed his eyes.

Well these weren't the terms at all! The terms were Ed was to kiss him, but should he let such rare experience go by? Here Ed was, offering a taste of his really rather fabulous lips and all Alfons could do was stand there and clutch a chocolate bar as if it were made of gold. No, not gold, this chocolate bar was made of miracles and one was playing out before him right at this very moment.

Edward being kissable.

But then Alfons wondered if this was some delusion brought on by the fear of being pummeled and or eaten and he wasn't sure he should take the proffered lips, although they looked delectable. Maybe this was some sort of mental preservation tactic and he should head the warning and just flee and maybe make it to the bedroom in time to get the door shut and locked; like that would stop Edward, but still.

Edward cracked an eye open, he puckered his lips a little harder and seemed to look at Alfons expectantly.

"I feel like this is some sort of trap," Alfons said uncertainly, "it's not like you to cooperate so easily."

Ed's jaw went slack a moment, he then bristled and clenched his fist.

"Do you want to kiss me or not? What is it? My lips? My breath? My missing arm or something? I knew it, I always knew it! You're an amputee-ist!"

"I'm a...what? What are you talking about, that isn't even a word, you just made that up," Alfons gasped.

"You're someone who has problems with people who are missing body parts, admit it! You want to use that excuse to keep that bar of chocolate all to yourself! Well guess what, my lips are originals, so what is your deal? Or were you just teasing me? Like those girls down at the beer hall...leading me on, that's what they call it!"

"I would never!" Alfons said, insulted, "I am a gentleman!"

"And I'm not?" Ed said, getting very pink in the cheeks, "I know all about you Mr. Effected Airs, Mr. Above it All, Mr. Better than You! Yeah, you just keep making that huffing noise, but I'm onto you!"

"This is the most ludicrous argument!" Alfons said, gesturing with his un-chocolate laden hand, "You think I act superior? You think I'm the one that looks down my nose at all my fellow classmates? You think I'm the one who laughs at text books?" Alfons gestured some more, "You think your horse has to be higher to compensate for your short comings!"

"SO NOW WITH THE INSULTS," Ed howled, "FIRST YOU LEAD ME ON AND NOW YOU INSULT ME, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK FOR A KISS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

"BECAUSE I WANT TO KISS YOU, WHY ELSE WOULD I ASK?!" Alfons thundered back.

'WELL I PUCKERED UP AND EVERYTHING AND YOU DIDN'T KISS ME, YOU LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS A POISINOUS SNAKE OR SOMETHING," Ed screeched, flailing for emphasis.

"I WAS INTIMIDATED BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST INCREDIBLE PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND WHY WOULD SOMEONE LIKE YOU WANT SOMEONE LIKE ME PUTTING MY LIPS ALL OVER YOURS?!" Alfons shrieked.

They both stood, panting, staring at each other.

"The hell with it," Alfons suddenly said. He squared his jaw, tossed the chocolate bar over his shoulder, (and ignored Ed's gasp), took Ed's cheeks between his hands and pressed his lips over Ed's slightly parted ones.

Ed jerked and squirmed, he seemed to hold his breath and he wasn't sure if he wanted to clamp his mouth shut or bite Alfons bottom lip off. They both struggled with the situation for a moment before Alfons relented and Ed jerked back and dragged the back of his sleeve across his lips.

He then eyed Alfons and worked his jaw a little, shoving his hands in his pockets to appear to be casual instead of ruffled, which what he actually was.

"There is your stupid kiss, give me chocolate," he grumbled.

"You don't really expect me to give you chocolate for trying to bite me, do you?" Alfons said, folding his arms.

"OH! Deal breaker! Nay sayer! Indian giver!" Ed screeched, "You make a deal and back out after you get your goods! There are names for people like you and when I think of them I'll call you those, too!" Ed yanked his hands out of his pockets and swung his fists around. "Go ahead, eat it in front of me and I hope you choke on it," he gagged and hissed.

"No, it's one of your typical half-assed gestures!" Alfons retorted. "You're perfectly fine doing what you want to do, but when we do something I want to do it's all whining and dragging your feet and being put upon! I don't think very much of your fair trade abilities!"

Ed opened and shut his mouth a few times and bared this teeth.

"Yeah ok, we're on now," and Ed leaped forward, grabbed Alfons by the ears and slammed his mouth over Alfons so hard their teeth clicked together. After that Ed had to let go and they both held their mouths for a moment, but recovery wasn't long off and Ed grabbed Alfons again.

Ed being the aggressor felt like what Alfons imagined a random grizzly bear grabbing him and kissing him might feel like. It was all growling and strength and teeth and Ed seemed to be trying to shove his head into Alfons mouth.

After Alfons many flailed attempts at escape failed and he was loosing consciousness from the inability to breath Ed let him go, licked his lips and looked extremely pleased with himself.

"I think that's worth the whole bar," Ed chortled, smug with his kiss-like-you-mean-it air. "Damn, who knew I had it in me."

"My mouth hurts," Alfons complained, "That wasn't kissing, that was you trying to eat my tongue."

"You know, you're never satisfied," Ed snarled, shaking a finger at him. "Never, not at school, not here, nowhere! Never Satisfied Heiderick is what they call you in the lab."

"They do not," Alfons snorted.

"Well they should," Ed snorted back, folding his arms.

They both stood in consternated silence.

"I don't suppose we have a book on the subject?"

"Not a one, I was just thinking the same thing."

"We could...go hire a girl to teach us. I mean, there are always several down near the..."

"What were you doing down there?"

"Nothing, walking, I don't know, why?"

"Thats a funny place to walk, that's where you go to get your...you know..." Helpless hand gesture.

"Yeah? Well I didn't. Drop it, are we going to try this again or what?"

"The saying goes: third times the charm."

"Let's hope that goes without saying."

They negotiated this time, each finding how they fit against the other. Ed's hands fit perfectly around Alfons waist and crossed on the small of his back. Alfons arms went under Ed's and his hands spread, palms resting right over Ed's shoulder blades. Ed had to look up, so his head was naturally tilted back, and Alfons found that if he tilted his a little to the left the angle of trajectory to Ed's lips seemed to be perfect.

There were a couple of false starts. And then, slowly, tentatively lips met. They settled against each other, still pressed closed, warming themselves, then one set slid and one said opened just a touch and a true kiss grew in the planted idea. Ed closed his eyes, allowing Alfons to nudge his lips farther apart and Alfons wondered at the heat both here and in his chest and lower as he pressed his fingers into Ed's back. Ed stretched, he seemed to want to be higher and Alfons bent lower and this caused Ed to tilt his head back farther, making his body arch along Alfons' front and that...was just marvelous. One kiss turned into a series of kisses, each a bit longer, wetter, warmer than the last. Each a new lesson, a new analysis, a new taste. Data to be collected and extrapolated and explored. Each melting into the other, with no beginning and no end, and to that end, when they drew apart it wasn't very far and they both still stood close held by the other.

It didn't last long once they realized they were doing it and they jumped apart like two magnets of the positive pole and stood brushing, rearranging and straightening. Neither said anything for several long moments, both still to mired in what had just happened, (and what that meant exactly), to formulate any proper sentences.

Ed spoke first, because he often did, even when it was uninvited.

"I'll...I'll be taking that chocolate now," he said and extended his flesh hand, sans glove, palm up.

"Oh...right, right," Alfons said, turning to find the bar and locating it where he'd tossed it. He unwrapped it fastidiously, careful to save the foil and broke off one square and placed it in the palm of Ed's hand.

"Wait a minute," Ed said, "all of that for one lousy square? What the fuck Alfons, what the fuck?!"

"You can use all the crude language you want but that doesn't change the fact that the deal was a kiss for a piece of chocolate," Alfons said.

"That wasn't just one kiss, hell you owe me like a hundred of these things, you better get to making some money!" Ed said, waving his square around. "I can't believe you think this is all I'm worth!"

"A deal is a deal," Alfons said, "it's my fault you didn't stipulate the terms of the contract before it was made and done with!"

"Oh you prussian snot," Ed snarled, then shoved the square of chocolate into his mouth and made a big deal of chewing it for a long time before a very exaggerated swallow.

"How was it?" Alfons asked, sniffing at the remainder of the unwrapped bar in his hand.

"Delicious," Ed said begrudgingly and eyed the remainder of the bar. He nodded toward it.

"So," he said, being overly causal, "what's the price for two squares?"

Alfons seemed to really mull this over for a few moments, then he sucked on his bottom lip, fingered the bar and looked at Ed again.

"I get to kiss you with your shirt off?" Alfons asked.

"Done," Ed said, reaching for his collar button.

Alfons quickly counted off the squares he had left and compared it to the articles of clothing Ed would still have on his body after the shirt was subtracted. If he drove a really hard bargain he might be able to get him naked before the last square was eaten. All this time and his mother had been right, although it wasn't Ed's heart Alfons was aiming for through his stomach.


End file.
